the flypaper

The Flypaper - Dissin yo mamma since 1996.

Issue 3, Volume 4, 21 January 2004
 

 

ARCHIVE

 

The Flypaper is Sponsored by Wintric Resources

 

Monkeys are nothing but trouble.


Website of the week
Upping the Dante


 

Shameless self promotion needed!
I am making a page about the people who throw Flypaper things at Greg. You know who you are... But I don't!! I need you to send me some shameless self promotion, or I'll just make it up. I mean it... Odds on we have never met, so I'm really not fussed about accuracy.

 

 
IN THIS ISSUE
 
*I'm From Hell - How About You?
    - Where do you rank on the infernal scale?
*Angry Workers To Meet With Monkeys
    - 'Cos monkeys are funny.... heh....
*ICC Releases Official Rules For Backyard Cricket
    - Insert humorous subtitle here!
*Insane Clown Posse... er... Insanity
    - Group hugs in Hate Mail plus news for the brutally deranged!
 
 
EDITORIAL
 
*Editor's Column
The thing about the Flypaper is that it transcends all creeds and religions, in exactly the same way as a rusty screwdriver transcends corneas and spleens.  I once again invite you to enjoy the savage tetanus-inducing poking contained herein.  For those of you who are new to the concept, I can only invite you to run screaming like the bed-wetting little sissy boys that you are.  Run!  RUN, my craven little monkey children!  BWAHAHAHAHA!  Er.... ahem.
 
*iinet Rejects The Piggy Taste Of Spam
A lot of servers have been sharpening up their anti-spam measures, possibly to protect themselves from these nasty terrorists we hear so much about.  Sadly, these measures also keep out the Flypaper.  I blind carbon copy the Flypaper to everyone so that email addresses aren't distributed willy-nilly, but with more than 80 people on the BCC list it begins to look suspiciously like a mass unsolicited mailing (heaven forbid).  In particular I've been having trouble reaching the eight or so readers who have the misfortune to be with iinet.  All attempts to deliver the Flypaper to them have failed and I now have to consider them unsubscribed until such time as they provide me with an alternative delivery address.  For the rest of you, my advice is to enlighten your mail admin about the Flypaper, find out what specifically your anti-spam measures are watching out for, and let me know so that delivery continues in a timely and professional manner.
 
*Flypaper - The Website!
Lauren continues to kick the ass of all and sundry by creating and hosting the Flypaper website.  You can find her excellent work at http:///www.simlauren.com/flypaper.
 
*Flypaper Archive Restoration Project - COMPLETE!
All back issues from volume 3 have now been retrieved.  Thanks to Edward Reynolds and Andrew Jackson for returning the last few.  Readers with short memories and long bandwidth can point their vision-organs in the direction of the Flypaper website to view them as Lauren brings them online.  Alternatively, if your hunger for nonsense cannot be sated by mere websites alone, contact me at greg@courtrecording.com.au and I'll send the original emails your way.
 
*Your Breakfast Cereal Is Made Mostly Out Of Human Flesh
The Flypaper distribution list is starting to look decidedly shabby, what with the iinet fiasco (see above) and assorted other people letting their email addresses lapse.  If anyone sees the redoubtable Corey Goodchild or the simian visage of Phillip Bean, could you inform them that they need to get in touch with me if they want the Flypaper?  Also, we're always on the lookout for new converts to our unholy electronic cult, so if you know someone that needs a burning injection of newsy goodness, send me their email address at greg@courtrecording.com.au
 
*Corrections
Yes, the bit about Street Fighter in Greg's Thinkings last week was wrong.  Check out Dave Cake's letter in the Hate Mail section.
 
 
NEWS
 
*Aurealis Awards
It would normally seem somewhat nepotistic to shamelessly promote my girlfriend, but this is kind of special.  The 2003 Aurealis Awards for speculative fiction are rolling around in a couple of months, and it is my pleasure to announce to all who don't already know that Lily Chrywenstrom's short story "Tireki and the Wind" is up for an award in the Fantasy - Short Fiction category, running against writers such as Garth Nix, Marianne de Pierres, and Lucy Sussex.  Winners are announced at Swancon 2004.  Check out the full nominations list at http://www.sf.org.au/aurealis/awards.html
 
*Coast Trip
The Nazi of Bateman's Bay, Elise, continues to organise what should be a mostly fun coast trip for this coming Friday.  There are little itinerary things that she has organised with the intention of either (a) providing clear information or (b) mocking and patronising.  In any case, she's gone to a lot of trouble and effort, so whatever it is, she should be commended for it.  She's desperate for some people to fill up the empty places (although not so desperate that she would actually accept other people coming).  Get in touch with her if you're as confused as I am.
 
*Education-Related Triumph For Marcia Bauer
The crazy education-wombats at the Australian National University have all had simultaneous massive brain haemorrhages, and in their last coherent moments before the rising tide of blood drowned their synapses they have made the mistake of accepting Marcia Bauer into the ANU Graduate Law Program.  Congratulations are due to Marcia for exercising her mind-haemorrhage-causing powers in this fashion.  We can now expect Marcia to remain in Canberra for many, many more years, chained to the bitter yoke of slavery, rather than fleeing like a yellow-bellowed Communist back to Perth.
 
*Matt Kemp Hits The Hard Drugs
Matt Kemp is now taking the happy-making dexamphetamines that he was prescribed for his ADD-related condition.  He says he feels stronger, smarter, and ready to take on the world.  We should all bow down before these mighty chemicals.
 
*Raven: Three Months In Canberra
Written while pondering weak and weary over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore by Jess Rodgers.
As of last Tuesday (13th Jan), Raven has being in Canberra for three months.  Quoth the Raven, “It feels like forever but also feels like just yesterday.”  He has some form of steady job in IT and has become an active member of social events such as wrestling screenings and BBQs. He recently held a "Wine and Cigar Party" and made an excellent bolognaise at a dinner night.  We look forward to his further fun and wacky adventures in our small and humble town.
 
*Jess Rodgers Feels The Chilly Touch Of Mortality (A Birthday!)
Written while time marches steadily on by Jess Rodgers.  Edited by Mad Greg Tannahill.
I'm getting old!  My 20th birthday will fall in a few weeks on the 26th of February.  I feel a great disdain towards this occurrence; however, drunkenness is required.  I'm not the most creative person or a fan of organisation.  If anyone has any fandidlytastic ideas for celebrations please feel free to email me at lotusjey@hotmail.com or contact Greg via greg@courtrecording.com.au.  Thanks muchly.
 
*Doings, And Whatnot
Certain people have not sent me news.  Therefore, I am pleased to announce that Tim and Carina Crispin are flying to the moon and back in a hot air balloon, Andrew O'Conner is dealing crack on the streets of Bangkok, and Geoff Cummins has been nominated as Man Of The Year by three different magazines despite being currently before the courts for allegations of grand larceny.  In other news, I hear Margaret Levingston is hula-dancing her way to international notoriety along with a troupe of cross-dressing Hawaiian lawyers.  The baddest mo' fo' around appears to be Margaret Dunlop, who's out of jail and looking for revenge on her double crossing posse.  And none can deny the power of Tamsin Scrimshaw, for even the mighty fall before her iron thews.  [Ed.  I'm not entirely sure which part of Tamsin constitutes her "thews", but boy howdy are they both mighty and iron.]
 
*The Camarilla - Edward Speaketh
Written by Ninjamaster Extraordinaire, Edward Reynolds.
 
[Ed.  Last week I made the mistake of asking for news of the Camarilla.  Edward took up the challenge.  If you know of the Camarilla, be scared.  If you don't know of it, be very scared.]
 
"The Camarilla - What's Up With That?"  Indeed I will tell you what is up with that!  The Camarilla has been indeed building as the quiet before the storm, for a storm IS coming. We are less a model UN that is severely helioallergenic and more a NATO that has a predeliction for hemaglobin. The intensity of the year of fire is only beginning to be felt, Justicar's Dying at the hands of maddenned sabbat and assamites, Antideluvians falling to the wrath of green butter knives, metis werewolves producing children.  A world gone mad.  Luckily we are all perfectly sane.  Join us, become ONE OF US...ONE OF US..
 
 
HATE MAIL
 
*From Dave Cake
[Dave's letter begins with an extract from the Greg's Thinkings article about bad movies made from videogames appeared here, specifically the bit about Street Fighter where I stupidly said that Jean Claude van Damme played M. Bison.]
 
10)    Street Fighter
Symptoms:  Unconciousness and death.
Jean Claude van Damme as M. Bison - the man too cool to have a first name.  Kylie Minogue as that annoying British tart.  Other people in roles.  I have to confess, I never watched this one.  Hence my not being unconcious and dead.
 
Ah yes, you have not watched this one, hence the LIES. LIES, it does. Filthy gregses.
Mr Van Damme did not play M. Bison, as a few seconds conferring with the all-seeing interthingy could have told you. For Raul Julia played M. Bison, and that is the reason why this film has moments worth watching. Not only a fine actor, but some of the greatest lines in the history of movies. Lines like "You came here expecting to find a madman, but instead you found a GOD!" or "For you, the day when I destroyed your village, killed your family and forced you into exile was the defining moment of your life, but for me it was tuesday"[1]. And ranting about how he is not evil, but good, for all he wants to do is make  hordes of perfect genetic soldiers and "They will march out of my laboratory and crush every adversary, every creed, every nation! Until the world is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And peace will reign and all humanity will bow to me in humble gratitude."
So, indeed, unlike most other movies made from video games, Street Fighter has at least a few good moments. Basically, the bits
of the movie where Raul Julia is on screen are actually quite enjoyable. Sadly, as you imply, the other bits of the movie are indeed largely truly awful. The writers and Mr Julia seemed to know what sort of movie they were in, and treated it with appropriate humourous mockery, but sadly not all the cast felt the same way.
Cheers
David

[1] misquoted from memory, unfortunately. I actually found the web page featuring quotes from this movie, but it didn't seem to have the best ones, and I'm not about to watch it again just so I get the quotes right for you, OK?
 
 
[Ed.  Dammit!  I DID know that it was Raul Julia, not van Damme, but somehow forgot.  Correction fairly made.  I blame it on the amnesia and brain damage caused by the Mario Brothers movie.]
 
*From Tim Smith
[In response to last issue's article by Jess about the Insane Clown Posse and the troubled times of their record label, Psycopathic.]
 
Say what!?!? I missed the ICP concert 'cos I was interstate at the wrong time, and now they're having record troubles? This *IS* important news. Wait... Someone knows where to get ICP records? WHERE!!!???
 
[Ed.  What are the odds of having more than one ICP fan in a pool of about 80 readers?  Anyway, Tim, I'm sure your questions will be answered by THIS...]
 
*From Jess Rodgers
Greg you can give Tim my personal email addy and fwd this to him.
Hello Tim,
I knew there was more Juggalos out there in Flypaper land.  Currently I am downloading most of my music *tisk tisk* but you will find Impact Records (http://www.impactrecords.com.au/) in Canberra can meet your Psychopathic needs. If they don't have what you want they will be happy to order it in for you.  If there's any other Juggalo enquiries I can help you with, please don't hesitate to ask. MCL, Jess.
 
[Ed.  People around the world bonding over the Flypaper, like monkeys playing with superglue.  It makes my heart go all warm and fuzzy, like a kitten in an oven.  In case there are any other freaky ICP fans out there, Jess' email address is lotusjey@hotmail.com and she likes people sending her stuff.]
 
*From Edward Reynolds
as for Juggalo scandals....
The twisted insanity of unspelt americanism!!!! These "posses" of insane clown's that rampage around in a "Twizted" fashion bring fury and rage to my heart!!!
They CLAIM to speak english, but I've known leperous borneo cannibals to "speak better england" than these painted hussy's. Their crack ridden antics do not bring a smile to my face, I suggest they are all deported to Queensland and locked up for being of ILL REPUTE.
 
[Ed. My good friend Mr Reynolds has obviously parteken copiously of his magic pixie dust, and is even now soaring high upon the chemical winds of happiness.  Let us treat his ramblings as the divine missive that they are and dress in suits and attempt to give them to random people on the street.]
 
 
WEBWATCH
 
*Upping The Dante - Flypaper Site of the Week
Submitted by Marcia "the Mad Cow" Bauer.
Monkeys go to hell.  So do Flypaper readers.  This may mean that Flypaper readers are monkeys, or somesuch.  Anywho, the important question is therefore which circle of hell exactly you are going to.  Thanks to the genius of the internet, though, you can finally find the solution to this quandary by means of a simple point and click questionnaire.  It's my opinion that there should be a special circle of hell just for people who design internet quizzes. 
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
 
*Bagless Stick Shark Attack
Vacuum cleaners!  How I hate them!  From their sneaky little retractable cords down to their insatiable, unstoppable appetite for dust and, apparently, bowling balls, they get under their skin in a way that only home appliances can.  Thankfully, I'm not the only one with this bizarre, nay, disturbing obsession.  The fellas at this site ALSO loathe the suck-hungry little bastards, and have gone about destruction-testing the first one they could get their hands on by pitting it in a series of brutal last-man-standing matches against such other ruthless killers as toilet paper, cassette tape and light bulbs.  Finally, they answer the ultimate question: can such a powerful vacuum suck ITSELF up?  I suspect this is possibly Knowledge Man Was Not Meant To Know (TM).
http://toyletbowlbbs.home.att.net/how2clean/shark.htm
 
*George Bush - Now With Powerful Kung-Fu Grip
Submitted by the Voice of Baghdad, Andrew Riesz.
The Flypaper featured this site before, way back in one of those "dawn of time" issues (from last year).  But Andrew has submitted it for our inspection once more, so it seems that some readers are still cruelly ignorant of the meaning of human existence.  Allow me to enlighten you.
http://www.herobuilders.com/ 
 
*Wax On, Wax Off
Borne to me on the wings of doves from Sim Lauren.
The Japanese - the wonderful people who brought us the Karate Kid, Bonsai Kitten, and the bombing of Hiroshima.  Wait - actually, those were all kind of the United States.  Well, anywho, I'm sure we all remember that scene in the Karate Kid where the hero and Mr Miyagi are discussing catching flies with chopsticks.  Now, thanks to this site, and some fun Shockwave gaming, we can all discover exactly how easy that is.
http://www.wickedintellect.com/flash/games/fly.swf
 
 
OPINION COLUMNS
 
*Jess' Top Ten
Written by the Hound of the Baskervilles, Jess Rodgers.
 
I am in pain, oh so much pain. They tell me it's an inflamed disc in my lower back and prescribe me many drugs. The problem is these oh so wonderful prescription candies make me grumpy, depressed, shaky and many other spectacular things. I was wondering if anyone knew of some natural muscle relaxants or other natural treatments for pain. Treatments with minimal side effects and interactions with other medications would be best.  If you can help me and my horrible, horrible pain, please feel free to email me at lotusjey@hotmail.com.  Thank you, Jess.
 
Top Ten Medications I have taken since I injured my back.
10.Asprin
9.Neurofen
8.Neurofen Plus
7.Panadeine
6.Fiornal (Pain killer, not sure of spelling, I blame the drugs!)
5.Celebrex (Anti- Inflammatory)
4.Panadiene Forte
3.Mobic (Anti-Inflammatory)
2.Diazepam (Valium)
1.Tramal (Pain killer)
 
 
FEATURE ARTICLES
 
*Juggalo Scandal 2004 Update
Written by Jess "Insane Clown" Rodgers.
 
For all my Juggalos... [Ed.  Are they really YOUR juggalos, Jess?  The juggalos you own end up owning you.  Ahem... sorry.]
For all my Juggalos, here is an update on what is going on in the world of Psychopathic Records. After a month of confusion and speculation it seems that all is well again. The Insane Clown Posse (www.insaneclownposse.com) and Twizted (www.twizted.com) websites have announced the release of the next Dark Lotus album, Black Rain . The release date has being confirmed for April 6th coinciding with a strictly Lotus tour.
 
Screwball, on the Twizted site, commented on the announcement, “Finally after long drawn out speculations and hearsay, it seems that all shit is well behind us and the petals of the Lotus lay before us.”
Violent Jay has covered the commotion and the release of the new Lotus album in his ‘Weekly Freekly’, (http://www.insaneclownposse.com/low.php?wp_id=weekly_freekly_20040119) also discussing the up coming Hell’s Pit, the return of Blaze and ICPs appearance on TNA. Regarding the scandal, he stated that those in Psychopathic records are family and “Families argue. They fight and say things they don't mean on the internet at 4.30 in the mornin' while they are two thirds drunk and depressed.  Real life is real life.  But this is real family y'all.”  Jay also stated, “I fucked up spreading rumours but that's only because I'm so stale.  I'm sorry.  Ninjas need to just relax and know that this shit ain't going anywhere ever.”
 
Commenting on the new Lotus release Jay said, “The New Dark Lotus album is gonna shake the whole Horror Core, Wicked Shit, Acid Rap FOUNDATION on you mother fuckers. ‘Black Rain, bitch’. Well, actually it’s just called ‘Black Rain’. Nobody but me wanted the "bitch" part.”
 
Before all was cleared up, Jay commented on the situation on online chats. He often hangs in AOL chat rooms using the alias ‘Nobody Fresh’. Most of it is irrelevant now that all is raining diamonds again but Jay also spoke of a new respect for Anybody Killa (ABK) regarding he’s disdain for the mainstream and refusing to change the music to please radio stations etc. The online chat can be accessed at (http://www.thebrujah.com/jchat.txt).
 
On the Real Juggalos website a whopping 82 percent of Juggalos voted that Twizted should stay with Psychopathic Records. Perhaps reactions such as these from Juggalos all over influenced Twizted’s thinking and assisted a faster resolution. It’s a relief for me and I would say for many, that things have being sorted out. The Juggalo love is flowing and helped to keep the Family together.
 
In further Psychopathic news, musician and Comedian Henry Rollins has mentioned one of the shows he did last year with Zug Izland in his new book ‘Broken Summers’.  "06-03-03 Fort Worth TX: The opening band is called Zug Island. They have all kinds of merch set up at their booth. They have their name on every garment known to man. We have like three things. We look made of tin and tape in comparison. Nice merch and pretty girlfriends don't get you through the show. It's only the show that matters"
 
The Real Juggalos website reacted to Rollins comments “Perhaps so Mr. Rollins.....but nice merch also makes Psychopathic Records $6 million dollars a year richer. And 6 million bucks will get you as many pretty girlfriends as you want. So uhh, yeah....”
On a sadder note, Dan Miller, the keyboard player from Zug Izland has left the band due to personal reason. He left on positive terms with all and will be greatly missed. Check out (www.zugizland.com) for more info.
 
Gotta let ya’ll know I finally got my hatchet man tat up on a Psychopathic fan site, check out http://www.realjuggalettes.net/realjuggalettes.html, it’s under ‘Jey’ in the ‘Wicked Tattoos’ section.
 
I will endeavour to make this a weekly or fortnightly column, renaming it ‘Juggalo World’, this is dependant on Greg being willing to publish it. So if you’re a Juggalo out there in Flypaper land or you just wanna support my work, give Greg a shout at greg@courtrecording.com.au and tell him that you’re interested in what I have to say. I’m out, MCL, Jess.
 
*ICC Releases Official Rules For Backyard Cricket
Submitted by the Dark Mistress of Pain, Marcia Bauer, who got it from "Stewie, one of the ninjas".
 
The ICC in conjunction with Cricket Australia have today released a standard code of conduct for Backyard Cricket.

  1. GENERAL RULES
  ----------------

1a. Can't Get Out First Ball: Curious rule introduced to give the token unco dickhead a reprieve. Smart-arse batsmen use it to hone
their reverse sweep; which becomes interesting when smart-arse bowlers use it to hone their beamer.

1b. Caught Behind (auto wikky): Since no one has the desire or the reflexes to stand in the slips cordon, an edge onto the back fence constitutes instant dismissal. Has signalled the death of the late cut.

1c. One Hand, One Bounce: This popular innovation (When a fielder can dismiss a batsman by catching the ball in one hand on the first bounce) is essential to the very fabric of the sport. Importantly, it means a game can be organised with a minimum of players. Note that this rule only applies when the fielder is holding a beer in their other hand.

1d. No LBW: When no umpires are available (or trustworthy), the only option is to can the LBW rule altogether, ensuring cagey batsmen shuffle across the crease as if test driving a Zimmer frame.

1e. Six And Out (Then Fetch It): Introduced to combat space and energy restrictions. It's rumoured to have been initiated by a hapless bowler living alongside a pack of Rottweilers.

1f. Standard Over: All veteran backyard bowlers know that the standard length of an over in backyard cricket ranges from anything between 10-12 balls. You only relinquish the bowling duties when questioned by any fielders or opposing team members. But only after the standard response of "Two to Come" or "Get Fucked".

2. ESSENTIAL ITEMS
------------------

2a. Esky: Strategically placed at the bowler's end, the esky is the shrine, the fuel, the Richie Benaud of backyard cricket - because it holds the beer.

2b. Balls: A minimum of 3 tennis balls is advised, as there's always some smart-arse who delights in tonking them over the fence (see rule 1e). Advanced exponents use electrical tape around half the ball to give it more swing than Austin Powers.

2c. Dog: Preferable of Kelpie or Heeler extraction, so it can field every ball, including those that disappear under the house or thorny bushes. The downside is that they produce more slobber than a 14 year old male Penthouse reader. The upside is the dog will sleep for 3 days straight afterwards.

2d. Rubbish Bin: It would be nice to think you can clean up your own mess, but in reality the bin makes a perfect set of stumps.

2e. Bat: Boasting multiple scratches and dents, and no grip left on the handle, it's usually of 1980's vintage with a single scoop, with a fake signature of Allan Border or Merv Hughes providing added backyard cult status.

3. CODE OF ETHICS
  -----------------

3a. Stumps: The game draws to a close when,  
 
i) Your host finally cooks the snags after the barbie has run out of gas,

ii) Macca hits the last ball onto the road and it disappears down the drain (not withstanding rules 1e and 2c),
 
iii) You can't get that batsman out with any type of bowling pace or spin, or

iv) Your girlfriend cracks the shits and wants to go home because you "become a fucking idiot" when you hang around with your mates.

3b. Flower Damage: Any respectful male will cringe and help hide the fact that you have just topped your girlfriend's petunias. Somehow, the universal threat of a week-long drought bonds the male species.

3c. Spilt Beer: Ideally, the offending batsman should apologise profusely and offer to replace the vanquished stubbie. Fat Chance. The feat prompts shitloads of laughter, and the usually triumphant "Get me one while you're at it you fucking retard!"

3d. No Running Between Wickets: Every backyard cricket specialist should know this phrase, "The words fun and run don't go together." Just ask Arjuna Ranatunga. Besides, how the hell are you supposed to run in thongs?

3e. Courtesy Call: Always invite the chicks to have a bat. They usually say no, but on the odd occasion, they do take a grip of the willow. You can bowl a couple of dollies to her so she can hit before ending this freakish sideshow with a yorker. Most chicks hold a bat as if they're chopping wood, and they bowl as if throwing left-handed. And they can't handle yorkers. Still, someone has to make the salad.


STUFF STOLEN FROM OTHER PEOPLE
 
*Angry Workers To Meet With Monkeys
Submitted by the Bride of Frankenstein, Julia Burns.  Looted and pillaged from Australian Federated Press via The Australian, 13 January 2004.

Hundreds of laid-off workers from the state-owned aircraft manufacturer PT Dirgantara Indonesia (DI), frustrated by officials who ignored protests over their dismissal, plan to take their complaints to primates at Jakarta's zoo, a demonstrator said last Monday.
 
"It is useless to meet and negotiate with people who do not possess a conscience and logic. It will be much better for us to meet with monkeys and apes," coordinator of the protest, Toto Siswantoro, told the Detikcom online news service in Bandung, West Java, where DI is based.
 
Thousands of DI workers have staged protests in Bandung and Jakarta in the past few months to protest the company's mass lay-off plan as part of efforts to revive the ailing business.
 
Siswantoro, who is also a labour union coordinator at the company, said hundreds of the laid off employees would travel in a motorcycle convoy to Jakarta on Monday. Instead of making their usual stops at government offices they will first go to Jakarta's Ragunan zoo, he said.
 
"It is clear that these monkeys and apes will not be able to give us a solution but at least they can make us happy and can listen to our aspirations," Siswantoro said.
 
On Tuesday they will give the humans another try by taking their protest to the manpower ministry and parliament.
 
In July DI announced it would shut down for six months and temporarily lay off its almost 10,000 workers with pay.  A rescue plan approved last month for the hugely indebted company involves the permanent dismissal of 6,000 workers.  DI assembled various European-made helicopters as well as Spain's CASA aircraft and produced parts for several international aircraft builders.  Formerly known as the Nusantara Aircraft Industry, the firm had its heyday under the government of Suharto and his research and technology minister, German-trained B.J. Habibie.
 
 
CREDITS
 
*The Flypaper was concocted by
Greg Tannahill, with help from the following people: David Cake, Sim Lauren, Marcia Bauer, Andrew Riesz, Tim Smith, Edward Reynolds, Jess Rodgers and our benevolent corporate sponsors at Wintric Resources
 
*Thanks to
Gravity, without whose steely grasp none of this would have been possible.
 
*Check out the website
at http://www.simlauren.com/flypaper
 
*Copyright
The other day the skies parted and an angelic voice spake unto me, saying, "Lo!  There is a time for all things, and the time hath come that all things within the Flypaper shall be copyright unto thee, Greg Tannahill, until such time as the wheel turns once more and all that hath been great shall become ruin, and the lowly shall be made high.  Bask then in the light of thy publication, and maketh all to bow down before it.  For those that stealeth its wisdom, thou shalt make bread from their testicles.  For those that derideth its truth, thou shalt bring pain to their kin and sow their land with salt."  Heh.  Angels are kewl.

 

Filthy Minions
down here we have a list of the people who have contributed. people who have their own site will have a clicky to it, or people who want their email linked can have that instead.

Mr Christian - Monkey script.

Sim Lauren - Web Wrangler.
  (if you have any web issues mail me, not Greg - he wants content. Give him content.)