Movie
Reviews
I see movies. I am opinionated. So I thought
that I'd put my opinions of movies that I see up here for you to read. I'm
going to put in a disclaimer here, because I'd hate to impose my own tastes on
others. Just cos I liked or disliked a movie, doesn't
mean that you will feel the same way. To give you a guide about what my tastes
are, I have written a
short summary of my tastes on some genres.
Serenity
Joss Whedon is God.
After the babyboomers canned Firefly, us browncoats were overjoyed to heat
that UIP had picked up the rights for movie rights.
Most of the marketing was fan based. Many Firefly DVD nights, public displays
of shiney, and general gushing later and we made it to the cinema.
I found myself on Joss watch for most of the month of December, and even
managed to make it to the event at the Orient Hotel that has been dubbed
"Beers with Joss" by the Browncoats au forumeers.
After all this hype, I was really looking forward to going along to the big
damn movie.
And it didn't disappoint.
As a (not quite so avid as some) fan, I was able to enjoy the film, it
didn't spend an annoying amount of time explaining the characters. Yet I feel
that people who haven't seen the series wouldn't have been disadvantaged too
much... Maybe not quite so cut when [spoiler block] met a fatal accident in
the climax of the film...
I would recommend it to sci-fi or action film fans everywhere, It isn't as
cerebral as you'd think, coming from Joss. A nice story, fantastic dialogue,
and cheer-worthy action sequences.
Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy
Good Movie. DA's dialogue adapted will to the big screen. They didn't try to
just make it the radio play with pictures. He spent 9 years rewriting it to
work in the cinema. Yes, alot of stuff was cut. Yes they added new bits.
Personally I loved the lightsabre, but I realise that's just me.
They really didn't blow it, which is something I heard alot of before I went
and saw. I also had the unbiased opinion of someone who had seen an advanced
screening, but has never read the books or watched the TV series. He liked it,
said it got a bit silly at times. That I'll agree with... Many many moments
where I had to stop and think and do the WTF thing... But again, the movie was
cut brilliantly for this. They hung the jump shots, gave the audience to deal
with the fact that the story has just jumped 5 feet to the left... Time for us
to stop, think... (Huh? the...they... Couches? Oh!) and chase after it.
The story keeps running the whole movie. There was no point that I was sitting
there, pleading at the characters to get on with it. I got the feeling that
they were only just in front of me in our madde chase after the story.
I saw the novel described in the paper today as a "cult classic" - I don't
think this movie is going to be cult. I think it will do very well. Unlike
some other cult lit to screen projects that require you to have read the book
to get the movie. This is very appealing. It stands Tall...
Thanks Doug.
Lara Croft: Pandora's Box
I liked. They have fixed all the bits that annoyed me in the last movie. They
have dropped the need to alter Angelina's body to fit the computer game
dimensions. That I like. Pixel Lara is unrealistic, and the implants looked
awkward and uncomfortable on Angelina. It's good that they feel her identity
is enough now.
The sets were amazing!! It was too hard to tell which were CG and which were
sets.
Effects impressed me immensely. Hard to do lately, my standards are high.
Side kicks rate a mention as well... Noah and Rimmer made the comic relief for
me.
I was upset with the romantic developments, I don't know why they had to go
off-story and give her a love-interest. I really didn't like the fact that it
interfered with her judgement. She's supposed to be smart, independent,
athletic, rich and successful! Why the hell does she need some whiny bloke on
top of that?
Pirates of the Caribbean
Aarrrrrr!!
Go see!!
I can't say enough... Go See!!
Legally Blonde 2
Not a movie that most of you would expect me to like...
It was predictable and formulaic, but that's exactly what I expected.
It was a good way to turn my brain off for 90 min, and have a bit of a giggle.
Reese Witherspoon is back as Elle Woods, successful lawyer and bride. She
takes on Washington, trying to implement an animal cruelty law, and as in the
previous movie, changes everyone around her in the process...
It's a nice, fun little movie that I'd recommend to anyone.
The Italian Job (2003)
This movie is going to get me into alot of trouble.
I keep on forgetting that my car is not a mini, and I don't have a boot full
of gold. Dorothy had fun at the mechanics on Wednesday, and I'm happy to say
that she is no longer leaking oil.
Story line was predictable, but paid alot of respect to the 1969 film.
Unfortunately the audience at our session didn't seem to have watched the
original... there were many very funny moments, that went completely unnoticed
by the crowd.
Car chase scenes were fantastic! Again, much homage paid to the original...
but stunts were not as spectacular, especially after you factor in the special
effect capabilities of the two eras.
Script was ok, I liked the ending in this one better, the 69 ending always
annoyed and frustrated me.
...Tech argument... I like Seth Green and his l337 geek style.
Counter-point is that Benny Hill and his "fat bottom girls make the rocking
world go 'round" electronics wizardry is the bomb. As much as I loved the
blips and blops of the tape-driven traffic control system, gotta love the nerd
with his rig. Twas the bike scene that made it for me tho.
Eye candy... Mmm Charlize Theron makes a very nice master-thief. She drives a
mean mini too! Love her work!!
I recommend that you go see. It is much better than any of the other movies
that are out atm...
Matrix: Reloaded
What can I say...
I bought my ticket a week in advance.
We three donned leather jackets and armless shades.
We stormed to the midnight session with oozings of 'tude.
And it was a complete waste of time.
There was no fanfare, no other people in costume, no fuss at all whatsoever
made by the folks at Hoyts.
I was disappointed.
I sat in a cinema full of jean clad doits and had my retina abraised with
mindless crap for 2 hours.
I wish I had remembered my gameboy.
I would like to drum a wonderful concept into the brother's psyche... it's
called pace!... teach your editors to keep the story moving, and do it in time
for the next one. PLEASE!
... Better yet! - hire an actual script writer next time, and don't be relying
so heavily on the special effects to carry the movie. There were so many truly
great concepts that were barely touched upon... half explained as bridges
between the action scenes... instead we focus on 'deep' philosophical bullshit
that is supposed to bamboozle me into thinking that Neo is smart? I don't get
the people who don't understand this film, and try to justify it by explaining
that they haven't seen the CG bridger... I haven't either, and I was able to
see through the psudo-intellectual bullshit that they were flinging around to
try to cover the fact that they didn't have a script or a plot.
A little more substance, a little less padding, and boys... I know what a
dance party looks like... I find them tedious in real life... I don't need to
watch yours for 15 minutes.
Shanghai Knights
I love Jackie Chan!
Was bored, and a little down, so I took myself off to see this movie.
I was soo laughing sooo hard.
Like Shanghai Noon, it's humour was varied. There were visual gags, (must see
singing in the rain before you go see this) baaaad puns, as well as loads of pop
culture references. Nice choreography too. I found it a great escape.
I'd go see it again...
Star Trek: Nemesis
Yaha - I loved it!!
You might think that i'm being biased because I'm a trekkie, but I'm not...
really.
Unfortunately I can't explain why this movie kicks it properly without giving
alot of the cool bits of the plot away...
OK - summary time... Baddies were the Remans, you know the Romulans, yeah -
distantly related to them, but lived on Remus.
Cast was mainly next genners, with a few spot roles from key members of the
other series' cast.
The ending kicked ass...
Again - it's too hard to say how great this movie is without spoiling it. If U
like Trek, go see.
Bowling for Columbine
I can’t believe how much I liked this movie!
Usually, when I hear a lot of hype, and recommendations from friends about
the greatness of a movie, it fails abysmally to live up to my expectations.
This was so different.
It was insightful, energetic, powerful, moving, and most importantly,
entertaining.
I never thought that I’d see such sense out of an American documentary.
I had not seen the footage of the students at
I don’t wonder at all how this movie managed to break the box office records
for a documentary. It won an Oscar for best documentary.
I can’t recommend this movie enough.
Die Another Day
Loved it.
Loved the action.
Loved the effects
Loved the gizmos
Loved the opening titles sequence
Loved Halle Berry!
Loved the dark look at the world of Bond.
Loved the bejeweled yet deformed villain.
Loved the BRG Jag!!
Orgh – I’ll have to see it again, just to get over
the excitement.
Two Towers
So…. Very….
BORED!!!!
Seriously! – I don’t need to see 2 minutes of footage of a white stallion to
comprehend that he is the prince of horses…
Games to play if you too forget how much you hated the first movie, and decide
to subject yourself to the second one….
VSD quotes – Read Cassie Clare’s Very Secret Diaries… Insert hobbit fancier
jokes whenever you can!
Spot the Maori - The crowd has been filled from several local
pubs methinks…
Elf Spotting – spotto on the elves being typical
elves…
That was like 3 hours of my life that I am never getting back… I do not
understand how anyone could want to watch the extended version!
Harry Potter and the Chamber of
Secrets
I am really ambivalent about this
one…
I have talked to lots of people, and mostly they have been impressed with the
second Harry Potter Movie. I wasn’t. Not upset, just not impressed. They seemed
to focus on the wrong things. There was almost no attention given to the way
Lockhart and Colin annoy Harry, there was no conveyance of Harry’s isolation as
the rumours and suspicions spread through the school.
The fluffy ‘Everyone loves Harry Potter’ theme was rife!
The special effects were adequate. There was no attention to detail. Little
things could have been added to integrate the CG characters more. And did
anyone else think that kitty Hermione looked pony?
But for positives… Lucious Malfoy is a Honey!! I should hate him,
he’s evil… but damn! – can’t do it.
Donnie Darco
Ooh ooh –
my brain, my brain!!
Was described to me as a ‘Science Fiction coming of age film’, and that is a
good description.
Let me see… we have hallucinations, time travel, superpowers, premonitions, a
plane crash, a crone. All intermingled with the frustration, humour and drama of the characters trying to understand and
conquer with their fears.
I was wrapped in the story the entire way through. The cinematography and music
carried the film when the story was slow, and the twists were deceptive and
plentiful.
Many ‘What the?’ moments throughout the film, some of
the concepts explored will keep me thinking for weeks.
I will say one thing… my dreams that night weren’t full of giant death rabbits.
Disturbing yes, but bunny free.
Red Dragon
You know, the prequel to Silence of the Lambs?
Starred Anthony Hopkins as
twas a tad slow there in the
middle, but they felt the need to reiterate the importance of the Lead’s
family.. I can cope with that. Was only 15 min or so…
It was full of jumpy suspense bits, had me shrieking like a girl at some points.
But I enjoyed the story, the humour, and I wasn’t too
bored.
Oh – and I loved the ending… hehe. Amusing.
Reign of Fire
This movie had so much
potential.
It’s just a shame that they put the focus on such a predictable storyline,
instead of exploring all the other really cool concepts that were brushed upon.
I would really love to read some more fiction that was based in this world. How
the dragons effected the mindset of society, how they feed, breed and behave.
Instead I got glimmers of interesting story that was overrun constantly with
formulaic plotlines designed to appeal to the American masses.
Sigh… still, the helicopter was cool.
The Sum of All Fears
I have not laughed so hard in an action film in ages!
No that's not a bad thing. It was smattered with genuinely funny moments.
Never! - I hear you cry… Not an American Action movie that grasps the concept
of comic relief?… Oh yes!
Finally! A Tom Clancy book that they didn't completely destroy when they
brought it to the big screen…Yay! (It was altered
after 9-11, in that the baddies were Nazis, not Middle Eastern terrorists… but
that didn’t detract from the story at all.)
It's a great movie… I recommend it to everyone except Christian, who will go
into a paranoid stupor because of the Russians.
MIIB
When I grow up I wanna be a MIB!!!!
I loved this movie… so many funny bits!!! So many times I was killing myself
laughing while the rest of the cinema just sat there like stunned mullets…
Seriously… People. If you are going to drag your mundane asses to see a sci-fi
film just because the wonderful Will Smith is in it, DOES NOT give you the
right to shush me when I find a reference hysterically funny. I don't care that
your feeble little brain doesn't understand. DEAL!!!!!
Consequently, I'm writing a MIB freeform for CanCon
now.
Blade II
I have never been so ambivalent about a movie in my life.
I am usually really polar in my tasted of movie, either I love it, or I hate
it. There is usually a lot of daylight between the two. Blade is very
different.
I was OK with the special effects they weren't spectacular, but they weren't
ghastly either. The horror elements won't give me nightmares, but they didn't
get the neck-tingling cool factor either.
I so wanted to love this movie. I so didn't hate it, but no. I can't feel
anything. Glad I saw it, won't bother again.
Minority Report
Ooh… I am impressed.
After the total disappointment I've had with other big hyped movies this year,
I walked into the cinema thinking that I'd be bored. But NO!
I was surprised… Apart from 20 min of useless '
The ideas from the short story by Phillip K Dick were brilliantly brought to
the screen, the phrase - I want one! - was uttered a great many times.
Games to play during this movie… "Spot Tom Cruise's
braces", "Product placement monopoly" and the good ole -
"Who is the bad guy again?"
Spiderman
This movie was exactly what I was expecting.
From the first time the second-rate, shabbily assembled promo was first seen by
public eyes it was doomed.
Especially after post Sep 11 patriotic nonsense caused them to have to hack a
lot of their action footage, not to mention the over-hyped marketing and
merchandising to hit our shores Months before we see viewable footage from the
beast.
Summary….
Not even a wet Kirsten Dundst was able to sell this
to me. I'm not going to see it again. Not with the enthusiastic energy of a
boycott, I don’t even care that much. It was boring.
Attack of the Clones
I want to start this small piece of
writing by thanking George Lucas.
I was expecting to be pissed off by George's second try at new millennium
greatness.
I was disappointed.
Back to the drawing board, Lucas has dumped Jar Jar's pathetic attempts at humour, and has given us what we want to see… Droids doing
the visual gags again.
Also nice to hear nary a mention of the words 'midi-chlorians',
or other such nonsense.
Oh… and the light sable battles? They don't disappoint
either, unlike Ep1, they don't seem tacked on or forced, no no
no, they only ADD to the story. Holy shit Yoda kicks
ass!!! - Ahem, sorry.
I am still entertained by the Yoda is the sith
overlord conspiracy, and he and Evil Darth JarJar
will clean up in Ep3. Entertained, but not convinced…
Go see. Go see lots.
A Knight's Tale
This movie was not what I was
expecting.
I was expecting to be pissed off by an inaccurate period piece trying to follow
in James bloody Cameron's footsteps.
What I got was a fantastic little story, with some comedic, and dramatic relief
that captured the energy and excitement around jousting Tournaments.
Oh-and it's added the word 'Fong' to my vocabulary… I'll fong
you… Pain… Much Pain!!!
Rollerball
This movie was a lot better than I
thought it would be.
It's like other sporting movies that I have seen, it looks at the politics and
conspiracies behind the scenes of the game. But unlike most of the sports
movies that I have seen, it doesn't do the whole 'love story wrapped in cotton
wool' thing with the jock giving up his sport for love, or finding his talent
again after losing it in a personal tragedy due to the inspiration of some
gorgeous trollop having faith in them.
No, there are far more semi-automatic weapons than that. Oh - and one of the
more interesting high-speed chases that I've seen too.
The Musketeer
The story is based on Alexandre
Dumas' book 'The Three Musketeers'. The story is old. It's predictable, and
very similar to most of the other Three Musketeers movies that are out there.
But the most notable thing about this movie is the stunts. They were
choreographed and performed by Xio Xio Xiong, who is known for his
stunt work on Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon amongst other things.
The actors are honeys, the production is a joint
Glad I saw it at the pics, I'd go see it again.
Not Another Teen Movie
This movie wouldn't be so funny is I
wasn't a teen movie junkie. I like a movie that can take the piss out of
itself, and they do it well. Lots of cameos, lots of quotable lines, lots of visual
gags. Go Molly Ringwald!
I saw it for free, but I still would have been happy if I had paid for my
ticket.
Kung POW!
What can I say… If it weren't for the Thummies, I'd have no respect for Steven Oderick.
The concept behind the movie was good, they got a Chinese film made in the
seventies, and superimposed new characters into the story, and overdubbed the
voices into Chinglish.
There were a few funny bits here and there, but I think that there is a major
problem when the credits are funnier than the feature. The cow was cool though.
See it on video kids…
Mall Rats
Kevin Smith's second Movie. The best
way to describe it is 'Clerks on a bigger budget' but as that draws a
direct comparison to Kevin Smith's first movie, I don't think that's very
helpful.
I will say this though… It's take on romance, relationships and youth culture
is not mainstream, in fact, it is quite refreshing to see a film where everyone
isn't beautiful, where the characters are real, and their problems are so minor
they are funny.
It's about 2 guys battling their immaturity to keep the girls they love, with a
lot of bad pop-culture references thrown in.
Go see, go see… In fact, go get Clerks, Mall Rats, Chasing Amy,
and Dogma from the video store and make it a marathon.
Chasing Amy
Umm… What can I say… At the moment it
stands as my least favourite Kevin Smith movie.
Again, I think it's because it's more of a Romance then a comedy. I'm just not
finding it easy to identify with the characters at all.
Yeah it's worth seeing, but glad I got it on Video and didn't drop $12 on it at
the Cinema.
Black Hawk Down
Don't see it… It will only piss you off.
I'd go see
The set pissed me off, the
Ridley Scott used the gratuitous amounts of violence to try to cover up on the
total lack of any story. There was so much he could have focused on, but all he
ended up making was a disappointing movie.
Jay and Silent Bob
Strike Back
Oh my god! - go see this movie. Please… so then you will understand people when
they quote from it.
It has always made me marvel at how Kevin Smith gets the actors from his films
to return movie after movie. Well now he has done it again. They are all in
here, the amount of cameos, and cross-references are unbelievable. Hella, he even got Mark Hamil and
Carrie Fischer to star. The guy is a genius. I was laughing so hard that I
forgot to breathe.